Ok…I know I’m not heading to the chair here, far from it and quite the opposite.  I realize what I’m doing is in fact lowering my risk of something that could very well have an 80% chance of leading to my sickness or demise. However, I’m still saying goodbye to parts of me that have been with me for thirty six years.  I’m pretty attached to them and they’re pretty attached to me. We’ve been through a lot together.

A little boob backstory – I was completely flat until the summer after high school.  Then bam, some awesome C cups and renewed self confidence.  I dove into showing them off (unless of course I was playing a young teen in a show, then bind, bind, bind).  They’re a body part I’ve always been quite proud of, I wear v necks a lot and love my pretty bras.  Pregnancy gave them a whole new focus and job to do – they got bigger, filled with milk and fed my daughter until she was over them at 14 months (don’t worry she ate other things too after 6 months).  After so many changes my goal this past year was to get my body confidence back – I did.  I feel good with my 32DDs. Then I found out, it’s all going to change again…

A lot of women who have mastectomies have “Ta Ta to Their Ta Tas Parties”.  Instead of that, I decided to make a bucket, or rather a “boobkit” list of things I wanted to do, a Ta Ta to my Ta Tas Tour!  Rather than ONE final meal before their execution, I would have a two month long smorgasbord! I would be the Auntie Mame of saying goodbye to my parts! The summer would be a banquet and my boobs would certainly not be the poor fools starving to death. I’ve been treating myself to meals, social events, nights away with the hubbs, baseball games, shows, performing, and even a trip to New Orleans this month. I also had some amazing friends take some incredible pictures of my twins in their last month of life.

So confession time: yes, I have used my non-cancer BRCA2 prophylactic double mastectomy card on my journeys.  It’s hard not to: Say you book a hotel: “Will you be celebrating anything?” Ummmm…. kinda? More like a goodbye “Oh where are you off to?” Nowhere, just sending my time bomb boobs to pathology then I guess to wherever amputated human flesh goes (gross). Ok, I usually lead with, ever hear of the Angelina Jolie thing? I have that. I’ve gotten some hotel upgrades, free desserts, wine sent to the room, and really awesome tables at restaurants….and why the fuck not, I’m gonna go through some stuff, so I’m gonna indulge in some upgraded luxury.  I don’t abuse it, I over tip, but hey, I’m not frequenting these places often, so why not make the most of this farewell tour.

So what have I done, you ask? SO much! And even if you’re not sacrificing body parts, I highly suggest you do some of these too!

• Overnight (our first away from our 3.5 year old – I know I never thought we’d be THOSE parents either….) at The Gansevoort Meatpacking District (and I bought the overpriced robe, because why not!?), brunch at Bubby’s, rooftop swimming, massages, dirty water dogs, A Broadway Show, a trendy restaurant dinner, a poor attempt at nightclub dancing, and an amazing lunch at Del Posto. (They actually have an affordable lunch menu – but it’s sort of a city secret gem, so shhhhh) And yes we squeezed this into about 27 hours!

  

Bubby’s!

Rooftop Pool!

Everything is better with Bubbles!

   

Prosecco from the hotel and ready to hit the town! Dress by the sweet and amazing Ogo from OGO NEW YORK

Dirty Water Dogs, Taking in some Theatah(“Once On This Island” was awesome – I mean a live goat was onstage…though I did feel the goat was underused!!), and then throwing down some oysters.

Goodnight, New York. Scotch, Sinatra, and Hotel Robes FTW!

And finally the next day, Del Posto Lunch, too many courses to capture it all, but here are some favorites….seriously the butter/cheese thing OMG.

• Sweet and amazing friends organized an amazing night out for me at Boqueria and then drinks afterward at the Top of The Standard, a GORGEOUS cocktail lounge with sprawling 360 degree views of NYC, and to top it off sweet friends surprised me with not only being there, but they even brought a BOOB CAKE! A BOOB CAKE, you guys!  Then I may have treated myself to a Katz’s Pastrami Sandwich , on the way home, which is always as orgasmic as I want it to be.

                                                               AMAZING views and one drink for each boob, obviously!

Chocolate Mousse wrapped in edible gold foil, and posing with a piano in a sparkly dress, as you do…..

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST……

THE BOOB CAKE!!!!!

We didn’t eat it there, but seriously a friend walked into a Staten Island bakery and said “hey, I need a boob cake!” Pretty awesome friends, if I do say so myself!

• A day at Yankee Stadium, in way too expensive seats, eating way too expensive food with my mom(an ultra mega super fan), the hubbs, and our daughter!

 

                 The hat was free (Military Appreciation Day- and yes, thank you for your service – it’s kind of a bigger deal than anything I’m going through. They call me courageous, but you’re the true heroes). The sparkling rosé in the souvenir cup was most definitively NOT free!

• One of my sweetest and super supportive friend and I hit up the Rosé Wine Mansion, an awesome pop up exhibit, as you can tell, the subject matter is very near and dear to my heart, and there was also a ball pit (hubbs gets the credit for finding this awesome place!) And you know what? I let myself take as many photos as I wanted!

  

Photo Ops Galore! We tasted 8 wines, swung from chandeliers, wore crowns, sat in bathtubs of rose petals, and played around in the ball pit! We also blended our own wine and learned how genetics contribute to your taste buds! Hmmmmm….. genetics…..something I’m pretty familiar with, but as we’ve established in https://unbrcableme.com/index.php/2018/08/03/shock-and-sugar-pt-2/, that wine won’t give me cancer.  But that pesky BRCA2 mutation probably will!

With each planned event, if someone couldn’t make it, they started planning their own…. so I’ve gotten to be incredibly social, from quiet dinners, catching up with old friends, to even more planned gatherings.

-And just last night, I performed at Feinstein’s/54 Below and it was incredible.  My anxiety melts away when I sing! I was happy to join this amazingly talented group of “Former Broadway Kids”(I was one) to sing a song from a show I did on The Broadway, called Parade. Even my bestie from back in the height of my performing days surprised me at the show!

Apologies for the photo heavy post but…fuck that, no apologies.  It’s my blog and I’ll post if I want to.  I’ve done a bit of a 180 since I lost a few “friends”. But I feel like I’ve gained love, light and laughter back tenfold. I feel like the friends showing up, literally and figuratively, going on adventures with me, stopping by to say hi, checking in, sending sweet care packages, and coming out, are really SO amazing. Not to mention those who set up a photo shoot in their home for you and your boobies, with lighting and editing! It’s really been a fun ride during this time of severe anxiety.  I need it, the distraction, not the anxiety! I’ve taken on a semi IDGAF attitude and it feels GOOD.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still terrified of this looming surgery, but I’m living my best life before I save it.

• Next up our adventure to New Orleans and another singing appearance.

My general rule of thumb this past month has been much like the rule of improv.  Always say “YES and….”  No, not if someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, but rather than feeling guilt about money or babysitters or going out, or having that dessert or drink, I’ve let myself enjoy NYC and Brooklyn more than I have in a long time.  So thank you to my killer boobies, for allowing me this opportunity…I’m sorry to see you go, but better you than me, and hey the next ones will have to be introduced to so many more places!

And…..don’t tell the current boobies, but I hope those next ones are even better.