As you know by now, besides being a mom, a wife, and a 36 year old woman positive for the BRCA2 mutation, I’m also an actress and singer.  I began singing when I was ten and started working professionally when I was 13.  There were many singers I loved, Barbara Cook to  name one.  Her rendition of “Glitter and Be Gay” was unparalleled.

She was from the era of the “Golden Years of Broadway.”   She created so many roles before I was born, yet I was lucky enough to see her perform on video and live in her exquisite cabaret performances.

There were several leading ladies I adored who worked at the time I was working, some of whom I was even lucky enough to share the stage with.

But one performer “rocked” my proverbial musical theater world.  In 1995, around the same time Parade was being developed, a musical adaptation of Ragtime was workshopping in Toronto, both put up by the same producer (he went to jail, but we won’t get into that….because he sure had quite the good taste for amazing musical theater). In 1996, a “concept album” came out, previewing the music and the cast.  That’s when I heard her sing a song that will forever be engrained in my mind.

I had heard her before, I had listened to Passion over and over again before I saw the video of it. She was stunning. I saw her in “Out of This World” at City Center’s Encores! I saw and listened to her albums over and over.

But it was listening to “Back to Before” that got me.  It was a master class in acting, singing, grace, determination, building a song, using your instrument….everything.  The day the full album came out, I had a school trip and I HAD to get to an old store in Westport, CT, which closed in 2013.  It was up several flights of stairs and quite hidden. No they wouldn’t have my two disc shiny new recording at Sam Goody.  They would have it at Sally’s Place.  And I needed it for my discman before we got on the bus to head to whatever “outdoor education trust building challenge” field trip I was in for this time (NOT my thing).

I saw the show four times.   I saw HER four times.   She was Marin Mazzie.

Everything she did was impeccable.  Her and her husband, Jason Danieley came out with an amazing duet album, “Opposite You“. I would listen to it on repeat.  It made me happy.  You couldn’t listen to them and not smile. I saw her in just about everything I could.

https://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/Video-Flashback-Take-a-Look-Back-on-the-Career-of-Marin-Mazzie-20180916

Here she is with her husband, they were married 20+ years and their love and joy together were palpable.

She was beautiful.  She was a force.  She was flawless.  She was an inspiration.  She was BRCA2 positive.  She didn’t know. Until she got ovarian cancer.

On Jason Danieley’s Blog, The Danieley Digest, he was incredibly candid about life with Ovarian Cancer. (I’ve stayed up reading and re-reading it this past week).

He writes,

“Marin and Dr. O’C discussed how the doctors, surgeons and staff at Memorial Sloan Kettering are looking for terminology that is not negative or combative sounding. Terms that are disliked, discouraged and sometimes create an unhelpful to healing imagery are terms like: fighting, battle, kill, win, lose, destroy. It makes people feel that they have failed or done something wrong, which serves no purpose for anyone.”

She only found out about the mutation upon diagnosis.  If she had known, as I do, she could have taken steps to opt for an oophorectomy, removal of one’s ovaries and tubes, or even followed protocol of six month check ups, though there is no real early detection(except the knowledge of a BRCA mutation) with this silent killer.  She went into remission, only for the cancer to come back and spread(or as she says, “visited” other parts of her body).  She continued to perform, and many did not know until just before her passing, that it had come back.  She performed in concerts and even replaced Kelli O’Hara in “The King and I” at Lincoln Center.   It wasn’t until recently I learned as she was wearing a tremendously heavy hoop skirt, dancing about, that she was living with this terrible disease, and undergoing treatment for it. She had such a positive attitude, she gave everything a positive name, dubbing chemotherapy “healing treatment”. THAT is a super hero.

A New York Times Article, entitled “How The Broadway Star Marin Mazzie Confronts Cancer,” by Susan Gubar on July 13, 2017, she discusses her role onstage in the “King and I” and living with late-stage Ovarian Cancer.

The article states:

“Given the lack of an early detection tool, Ms. Mazzie believes that a BRCA blood test should be offered to young women with a family history of breast, ovarian, prostate, colon or pancreatic cancer. ‘The profile of who needs to be tested has to expand,’ she told me in a recent phone interview. Geneticists agree that women who carry a mutation face a substantially elevated risk of getting breast and ovarian cancer. Women testing positive could use monitoring to detect cancer earlier or employ prophylactic surgery to prevent it.

Many people do not realize that a BRCA mutation can be passed down by men, as it was in Ms. Mazzie’s family. Her paternal grandmother had breast cancer and her father dealt with prostate as well as colon cancer. She was not offered a BRCA blood test until after her diagnosis. She wants other women to learn from her experience.”

Regarding BRCA as well, Jason Danieley writes on his blog:

“She [Marin] visited the ER at the local hospital only to discover, to her great dismay, that the nurse on duty didn’t know what the BRCA gene mutation was. The gene mutation didn’t play into anything the nurse could have done to help Marin with her pain and this specific situation but in the course of discussing Marin’s medical history it came up and she hadn’t heard of it.

The fact that someone in the medical field didn’t know that the BRCA gene mutation is one of the only early detection tests for ovarian cancer was mind-blowing and only increased our determination to spread that word around.

More of that in another blog… BUT if anyone in your family history, on either side (mother or father) has had breast, ovarian, prostate or colon cancer, yes, this affects men as well as women, you should be eligible to have the BRCA jean mutation blood test and have it covered by your insurance. The previous “profile” for the BRCA jean mutation omitted Marin from having the test i.e. of Ashkanazi Jew decent or having Breast or Ovarian Cancer on the mother’s side… Marin’s was passed through her father’s side of the family and she’s not of Jewish decent.

If you have the BRCA 1 or 2 gene mutation you have a higher likelihood of getting any of those cancers and there are additional treatments that you will also be eligible for.

Educate yourself on the BRCA gene.

(Heavy, I know, but information you all need to know.)”

They traveled to Washington, DC and used their stardom as a platform to raise awareness.  We, unfortunately (I say we, because as I mentioned, the Broadway community is a tight one – even though I met her only once) lost her on Thursday, September 13, 2018 at age 57.  I did not know her, but I feel the loss, maybe because of my deep admiration for her passion and talent and radiance.  For her deep love and partnership with her husband. For her positive attitude. And because she is inspiring me in a whole new way, and doesn’t even know it.  I wish she knew she had the gene. I wish this test was given to everyone.

If I haven’t mentioned COLOR before, I’ll mention it now.  Color is a recognized genetic testing tool that you can do right at home, much like 23 and Me, but while 23 and Me only tests for three BRCA variants, those most commonly found in Ashkenazi Jews, COLOR tests for all 2,000 variants in the BRCA gene.  It’s available on amazon. It comes in a few different packages to test for different mutations and risks.

From their website:

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• Genetic tests for many other hereditary cancers and heart conditions
• Results you and your doctor can use to create a health plan
• Complimentary consultations with our genetic counselors
• Up-to-date health information, tailored to you
• Collaborative tool for your family health history

Marin, you’re so beloved and so strong and courageous. I hope to be as gracious and courageous and strong as you were. And now facing what I’m facing doesn’t seem so scary.  I see the bright side. I see how I can save my own life.  I am inspired yet again by this woman, but not ONLY by her amazing ability to belt, mix, and flawlessly float to her soprano all the while being a comedic or dramatic superstar, but by her LIVING with this cancer.  For for three years, and time initially before then, all the while performing.  She and her husband shared so candidly what some would keep as a private journey and advocated for awareness.  If I hadn’t known my status, I surely would be inspired to find out from her story.  You will be SO greatly missed. And I know I’m by far not the only one you inspired so many years ago and who you continue to inspire. I cannot do you justice in a blog entry and feel silly trying to do so, but… Thank you, Marin, thank you.