Hey guys! It’s nice over here. Come on in, the water is warm! The anxiety is low, and I fucking did it! Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy – check. BAM! Done and Done!

And honestly, it was way way way way way better than I thought it would be. Physically, there was pain, I had a healthy drip of dilaudid directly after surgery and Oxy and Vicodin for about a week following. Emotionally, the moment I was woken up from the surgery, I felt a huge weight off my shoulders…err chest… well both!

The absolute WORST part of all of this was the anticipation of it all summer. But once I stepped into NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill Cornell, I could feel the relief coming. I even slept the night before.

Here is my last tight hug with my girl before the procedure, it will be a little longer until I get those tight squeezes back.

Here I am minutes before surgery, everyone came to talk to me and explain everything, from nurses to the surgeons to the anesthesiologists. They were patient, amazing, and laughed at my pre-mastectomy jokes!

Here’s me with Dr. Remover Guy, Eugene Nowack

And with Dr. Amazing Miracle Worker Plastic Surgeon, Henry M. Spinelli

Shortly after I was walked back to the OR, most of what followed was a blur. A tall resident(hubby swore he had a bit of a crush on me – wonder if he still does after seeing me sliced into – ha!) walked me back (no rolling on a table like Grey’s Anatomy and no tearful goodbyes – though definitely some good looking residents!). He told me there would be a lot of people in the room and not to be alarmed. I walked in, climbed on the table, they gave me something to calm me and then before I could get the phrase out, “am I going to fall asleep soon?” I was out! No counting backward…who knew!?

Then I was up! Albeit, I was convinced I had woken up in my mom’s living room, and I just kept asking if I still had my nipples! I do! And if you care to know, I can FEEL them!!! Hubby said I was loud and in slow motion when he saw me in recovery and pretty happy.  And higher than Jane and Michael Banks’ kite!!  And RELIEVED!!!! The surgery was 8am-1230pm, the wait in recovery was 1230pm-5pm.

Then I got my bed for the night and some food! You guys, it all took so long and I didn’t have much of an appetite the night before, so I pretty much totally observed Yom Kippur. Call me atoned! Woot!

Check out the pretty pink surgical bra I got to recover in!  I scored three from the hospital – you have to sleep in one for quite a while…gone are the days of bra removal immediately upon arrival home….. so, they are SO nice to have! 

While I was in surgery, Sammy was in amazing hands with our beloved baby sitter and had a play date with her amazing preschool teacher. It was a holiday and a day off of school, but it allowed Sammy to keep some normalcy. Here she is painting koi in the field.

I spent one night in the hospital, had a pretty good range of motion and was being pumped with an IV of electrolytes and fluid…so I had to pee every .12 seconds! They said they wanted me walking around so that I did! A lot!

I was extremely surprised by the range of motion I had in my arms (I could totally rub my head and pat my tummy, or ya know whatever it is) and to wake up from surgery about a C cup (300cc filled in my tissue expanders) was a great feeling! I also have/had these annoying drains (gone now). Jackson Pratt drains, to drain fluid and whatever else is inside what they took out. Kind of felt like a safety pin on each side of my ribs, pulling at me. I really wish it drained something more appealing, perhaps a nice sparkling rosé I could sip (don’t worry, I waited the requisite week to drink a bit again)!

But drains! Seriously fun for the whole family, really! Hubby emptied them and measured their output. And Sammy loved to squish them! And I only complained 1098635 times a day about them!

The night at the hospital wasn’t great – they wake you up…a lot…but better they take vitals, administer OXY and heparin shots(they prevent blood clots) than the alternatives.

The next day hubby came to get me and we peaced out of NYP around 12pm. We headed home via Uber with my mastectomy pillow from Pink Pepper Co. (it lessened the blow of the awful bumps and potholes! ouch!) and hubby set me up with everything I needed(a new table by the bed and a new stool to help me get into bed). My pillow fortress was the bomb dot com and the pain was well controlled. I showered the next day and even washed my hair alone!

  

This procedure is different for everyone, very much a choose your own adventure surgery, or a lot of times your options are limited and it is chosen for you. I was lucky enough to get probably the easiest kind of PBM you can get. More on that in another entry. Hubby took a week off to help (he was incredible!) and before the week passed, I was already weaning off the heavy meds!

A week after, I got the full pathology report back from my removed breast tissue and there was absolutely nothing questionable and nothing that needs further attention.

My boobs are previvors now! They went from their 80% risk of cancer to 1-3%! A few more parts have to go through a bit, and I’ll have a swap to implants, but I feel like myself! I look down and feel strong and proud! I’m a happy super mutant.

Here is a shirt I wore in honor of National Previvor Day on Oct 3rd, which was also Mean Girls Day and a Wednesday(we wear pink!), Dominique Ansel Pie Night, with a Yankees Wild Card win thrown in! Best day ever, right??? And I had a “slice me up present”(like a push present but not…) made for myself on Etsy from JewelryBlues, the front with my specific mutation/variation in my BRCA gene and the back with my mutant status!

I’m up and about. I’ve had two amazing house guests here to help(my awesome friend from San Francisco, we will call her Wolficorn™️ and then my oldest and dearest childhood friend, E, who is sitting by my side as I write this both stopped their lives a bit to come visit, help and most of all make me feel normal!) Thank you! SO…I can do social outings, dinners, Broadway shows, ferry rides! The only thing that’s tough is cooking, getting all the conditioner out of my hair, and reaching things. I am also ravenous(and so is hubby when he gets home), so the meal train SLSM started has been invaluable. Friends have dropped off food, ordered for me, come to help me cook as well! So helpful and I call it my Living Shiva, or really, a Shiva for my Boobs!(I don’t miss them – really!) All in all so far, so good!

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Stay tuned for more of my journey from the other side!